Lights Out

Some songs are not written because the feeling is pretty. Some songs are written because the feeling has been trapped inside for too long.

Lights Out came from an old betrayal that stayed with me for years. It connects to a time in my life when I was away trying to become someone stronger, while parts of my personal world were falling apart behind me. There was heartbreak in it, but the deeper wound was the betrayal. Someone I once trusted crossed a line with someone I loved, and what made it worse was feeling like that pain was turned into something to brag about.

That kind of thing can do something ugly inside a person.

At the time, I did not have the understanding I have now. I did not have the language for my autism, ADHD, PTSD, trauma, anxiety, or the way my mind and body held pain. I only knew that I felt humiliated, replaced, and powerless. I felt like something had been taken from me, then laughed about. The younger version of me did not know how to grieve that cleanly, so the grief became rage.

That is the place Lights Out comes from.

The title is not about who I am today wanting harm. I do not wish harm on anyone involved now. The song is about the emotional blackout that happened back then. It is about what betrayal can turn into inside a person who feels cornered, mocked, and erased.

OffKeyVibes exists because I spent too much of my life unable to fully say what was happening inside me. Moth Scott is the part of me that finally gets to speak. Sometimes that voice is wounded. Sometimes it is scared. Sometimes it is furious.

Lights Out is furious.

But underneath the aggression, it is really about pain. It is about the moment trust dies. It is about the part of a person that wants to scream because they were forced to carry something silently for too long.

This song is not revenge.

This song is release.

It is me taking something that once lived as poison in my body and turning it into sound.

- Moth Scott, OffKeyVibes